


This hollowness in my chest is for you

by rainingwhiteroses



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Angst, F/M, Major character death - Freeform, Moving On, Multi, Past Relationships, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 02:49:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16547396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainingwhiteroses/pseuds/rainingwhiteroses
Summary: You didn't want to move on. But the World finds a way anyway.





	This hollowness in my chest is for you

**Author's Note:**

> Let me tell you, having a word vomit at work is NOT fun. The interruptions I have I stg....but i gotta do what i gotta do. And let the words flow and be known.

Your life has been filled with pain and darkness, and joining Chaldea has not helped to ease your horrors much. Especially when the love of your life _sacrificed himself for you_.

_Go figure_.

*

You have been prepared for the pain, but the impact still rang within you, echoing in your bones as you felt your arm break. You dimly heard Helena’s scream as you shielded her, but you are unable to comfort her as you know you’ll scream if you open your mouth.

The King of the Cavern’s arm around you is surprisingly familiar as he took you in his arms as his fire burned down the enemy.

His mouth formed the syllables of your name as your vision turns to black.

*

You keep dreaming of that terrible day. The terrible words Romani said as he left you.

*

You woke up in the infirmary, the lights dimmed and your broken arm in a cast. You suppose you have been out for at least a couple of hours. And you feel groggy from the painkillers Da Vinci has pumped into your system.

Something shuffled into movement as you wake, and Edmond Dantes blinked his golden eyes at you, his fingers interlocked with yours under the blanket.

‘Edmond?’ you asked hoarsely.

He nods quietly, rising to grab you a glass of water and gently holding you as he helped you drink.

Still groggy with sleep, you gently raise your good arm to touch his cheek.

‘Why aren’t you in bed?’

He froze at the soft affection, and you cursed yourself for the slip, hand dropping.

He caught it before it fully fell back to your side, and place it back on his cheek, cradling your hand and nuzzling softly into it.

‘I am. You just woke me up.’

You couldn’t help the snort that left your lips.

He smiled.

‘Go back to sleep. I’ll stand guard.’

Nodding obediently, you rest your head on his shoulders, hiding your face in his neck.

*

You didn’t dream of Romani for once. Only comforting darkness and a pair of intense golden eyes standing guard over your rest.

*

After you were well enough to take off the cast, somehow you and Edmond grew closer. You talked more with him, laughed with him. Got to know him.

_It isn’t so bad._

But Romani’s, _Solomon’s_ mark pulses hotly on your heart, and you regret your train of thoughts immediately.

_You’re disgusting._

*

It was a familiar scene, the burning Fuyuki painting your dreamscape in blood and horror. But the way Romani is standing among the gore is not.

He is smiling, and waving at you enthusiastically, lips forming words you cannot hear among the clamor.

You run towards him, desperate to hear his voice, to be closer. But his voice eludes you even when you’re right in his familiar arms.

With a dawning horror, you realize you have forgotten his voice.

*

The adrenaline rush and the animalistic desire to cause _pain_ is burning through your veins like fire. Your body is trembling, and your vision is turning topsy-turvy from the clashing exhaustion and the desire to _hurt_.

Flicking the blood from his coat nonchalantly, Edmond walked languidly through the war zone towards you, eyes scanning you from top to bottom for injuries.

Arching his eyebrows at you, he only laughed as you lunged for his throat, hands already tearing his clothes off.

*

_You remembered the burning city, and the stench of burning flesh. And the screams of the doom echoing in the air as it rocks you to your core. You remembered his back, as he walks away from you, as your feet froze and his soul mark burning your heart like the wailing dead._

*

You woke up feeling sore and sated in a way you haven’t felt for a while. Blinking blearily, you saw the pale arm over your naked stomach and the memory of the hour before rushed towards the forefront of your mind like crashing waves.

The _animalistic sob_ that tore through your throat was completely unnecessary your rational mind quipped. But you were not rational then and you immediately shoved your palm to your mouth to stop the horrid sounds from escaping.

Unfortunately, the pale arm on your stomach has jerked in response to your sobs and tightened as the owner shifted closer to you.

His kiss on the side of your head is soft and his voice in your ear even softer.

‘ _Don’t keep it in_.’

You couldn’t form words from all the sobs clogging your throat and the tears blinding you. You only managed to shake your head, pushing your palm harder against your mouth.

His arm softly raised to pull your hand from your mouth as he gently pulls you to face him.

‘ _Look at me._ ’

And you did. The soft look on his sleepy face only triggers you to cry harder. The contrast between his look now and his usual cruel look is jarring, and your rational mind is quiet for once. Stunned at the difference.

He only smiled at your probably ugly and botchy face, and pulled you closer so your face rests on his neck and your naked body completely engulfed in his warm, equally naked body.

_‘Let go. Let go, and I promise to catch you_.’

His arm are around you, tightly enough to bruise you and you did what he told you to.

You fell apart, as the guilt and grief drowned you.

*

You open your eyes to a sea of sunflowers, the breeze warm and the sunlight blinding.

And Solomon stood there, smiling and holding out his hand to you.

You took it without thinking, and he held them between both his hands tenderly.

It was _Romani’s_ smile on Solomon’s lips, the gaze familiar and comforting. And you know this is not a nightmare. Not a nightmare where Goetia tried to fool you into giving as the parade around in Romani’s corpse. His _original_ body.

‘You shouldn’t feel guilty you know.’ Solomon said, thumb caressing your hand.

‘I should.’ You replied quietly.

Even the way he shook his head is dear to you. _Missed_.

‘You deserve all the love and attention the world can give you. And he does love you, in his own way.’

You look at his face in what probably is intense hunger. You never wanted him to leave. Never wanted to _move on_.

As if sensing your thoughts (he does it so well, even after all the mess), he smiled and raised his arm to touch his mark across your heart.

‘ _Beloved_ , this mark isn’t to cage you. Or bind you to me. It is to remind you that you are _so loved_. That I will always, always do. Even if you are to turn your back against humanity and doom it, I will still love you. Nothing will change my love for you. You are _my_ Beloved. _Mage King Solomon’s Beloved_. And there is nothing out there that doesn’t deserve you.’

Gods, you hated crying. Hated how it made your eyes burn, how your heart throb with pain that will never fade.

Solomon only pulled you closer, burying your face in his chest and hair.

‘I love you. And I want you to be happy. Even if it means moving on.’

‘I love you too. So much.’ Your voice is shattered glass, but he understands you. _And he always will_.

‘ _Be happy, Beloved._ ’

And you clutched him to you like he’s the only lifeline you have as the sunflowers swayed under the sun.

*


End file.
